Marriage is the ultimate tool in personal
development. Modern marriage is a
50/50 merger, but Jewish marriage is
100% - 100%. The Hebrew word for
marriage is Kiddushin, which means
to sanctify. The purpose of marriage is
to realize a higher level of holiness through
intimate giving to another. When we come
close to our husband or wife, we increase our ability to come close to G-d.
1.
Cherish everything. Every experience, every person you meet, or even
Cherish everything. Every experience, every person you meet, or evenget a glimpse of everything you come in contact with in your limited time in this
world even for only a second, is such an incredible gift from G-d! How much more
so is your soulmate. Be sure to appreciate the efforts of the one you love! Your
soulmate is helping you to perfect your soul - perhaps not always pleasantly - but
even then, treat your marriage as the great gift that it is. Thank your spouse often.
2.The secret of a good marriage is giving, without any expectation of
The secret of a good marriage is giving, without any expectation ofreceiving anything in return. The true purpose of marriage is for husband and
wife to figure out what the other needs and give it to him, give it to her - before
they even know they need it. The goal of marriage is to develop the ability to give
of one's self to the other, and to allow the other to do the same for you. We were
all created to receive. G-d created us in order to give to us. But G-d wanted us to
be G-dly beings. The way to be G-dly is to give.
3.Continue to date each other, even after you are married.
Continue to date each other, even after you are married. After the marriage is when the romance really begins. Stay attuned to each
other. Talk to each other at a deep level at least once a week. The way you want
to give love is not necessarily the way the other person needs to receive love.
Check in often. Express your needs softly and listen for the unspoken need in
your beloved. Make time to communicate and solve problems together.
Make special times to enjoy the things that first attracted you to each other.
4.Be married every moment. You have to get married every minute,
Be married every moment. You have to get married every minute, not just on your wedding day. Marriage evolves. People grow and change,
and so does marriage. As your marriage grows, redefine your closeness.
Marriage is mutual: Bringing out shared potential, accomplishing shared vision,
moving forward through life together, anticipating with joy the work and pleasure
you will share. There is a sense of comfort, of inner familiarity, and a sense of
inspiration. Remember the Holiness of these things while washing the dishes,
taking out the garbage and taking care of all of the mundane details of married
life.
5.Every marriage has three partners: You, your spouse and G-d. Kissing the mezuzah on the doorpost before you enter your home gives you
Every marriage has three partners: You, your spouse and G-d. Kissing the mezuzah on the doorpost before you enter your home gives youa moment to reflect on the purpose of your home life and an opportunity to
re-orient yourself to G-dliness before you greet your family and refocus on the
ideals of your home. Kissing the mezuzah when you leave your home reminds
you to protect the privacy and the sanctity of your family when you are in the
world.
